the feedback to Hsiao-Ping's thesis paper 1st draft

Hsin-Wei

The Feedback to Hsiao-Ping’s Thesis Paper

1. As dining is a kind of popular culture in Taiwan, to reuse the historic buildings as restaurants could be a way to preserve and revive these buildings.

2. I think this thesis statement is effective. After I read it, I can get the main idea clearly. However, I think if you can mention more details such as explain “reuse” more, you can use the specific method to explain it.

3. I think the beginning of the easy is effective. It provides the general idea about the whole essay. However, I think the “hook” could be more interesting and you can talk some ideas about your method to combine the old building and restaurant at the end of first paragraph.

4.
(a). No! In the second paragraph “The Preservation of Historic Buildings in Taiwan”, you did not say anything about the preservation, there is only background about the historic building in Taiwan. But you did well in other paragraphs^^

(b). Yes!

(c). Yes!

(d). Yes!

(e). Yes! You did well, and I think you can explain more, which can enhance your idea.

5. \\( ‘@’)//

6. I like the paragraph about the Taiwanese eating culture, like Taiwanese like to go to night markets for having vendor’s food. I like to do the same thing, too.

7. I think every part of the essay is good.

8. What will you do if you want to combine the Taiwanese historical buildings and restaurants?? I would like to know the specific plans.

9. Good job!

10. You did not finish the ending yet.